


Ashes of Mustafar

by Pandagirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Padmé Amidala Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:44:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandagirl/pseuds/Pandagirl
Summary: Padme survived childbirth and keeps her children with her with the help of Obi-Wan. Together they try to build a new life out of the ashes of the old. But the past always catches up with you.





	1. Ashes to Ashes

“We should separate the children, for their safety, and go into hiding,” Obi-wan suggests, holding both the twins, his voice weary. 

“No,” she spits back, rising quickly from the medical table. It's only been an hour since she woke up. 

“Padme-” he starts. 

Again she says, “No.”

“Obi-wan, you are not taking my children away from me,” she explains, letting her anger flow in her words. “We’ve already lost enough today.” 

“Let me help you then,” he pleads. “I'll take you and the twins farther out, somewhere I can protect you.” 

“Okay, as long as we’re together,” she says staring not at him but at the two squirming bundles in his arms. 

“I’ll get us a ship, here you go,” he says quietly handing back the babies. 

“And then you’ll tell me exactly what happened on Mustafar,” she insists just as he’s about to leave the chamber. 

A small nod is all the he gives. 

He leaves, leaning against the wall for a moment once the door closes, before heading to the space port. His robes leave ashes behind on the pristine white walls of the medical base.

Padmé sets Luke down since he’s sound asleep and feeds Leia. 

“I'm never going to leave you, either of you, ever,” she promises in a low voice. “I'm sorry this isn't the life I planned for you. I wanted us all to be together, on Naboo. But we’ll build a new life.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I got us a ride, to Dantooine,” Obi-Wan leans down and whispers to Padme, hoping to not wake the sleeping children. “But we’ve got to go.”

“Okay,” she whispers back, prying open her eyes. He reaches down and grabs Luke and their bags of supplies. Padme picks up Leia from the sleeper. All together they leave the maternity wing. 

Looking around the strange hallway Padme notices the smudge marks on the corridor walls. 

“This way to the port, Senator,” Obi-Wan leads the way. 

“Am i? Still a Senator?” Padme wonders, mostly to herself. Obi-wan hears it though, he stops to turn and look at her. 

“I saw a report on the holo, they said you died...in childbirth,” he says slowly. 

“Why would they do that?” 

“I don't know, honestly. But it will make traveling easier,” he answers. 

“Well, let's keep going. Don't want to miss our flight,” she says back, trying to shrug off the sick feeling in her gut. He agrees then soldiers on. 

They get on a small passenger cruiser transporting three other families. Quickly they settle into their quarters, trying to avoid any attention. Padme feeds both the twins and quiets their cries till finally they're sleeping on one of the beds. Padme and Obi-wan sit on the other, leaning against the wall in exhaustion. 

Without lifting her head or opening her eye Padme asks in a broken voice, “Now, will tell me what happened.” 

“Yes, Senator,” he responds his voice strangled with sorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Obi-wan opened his eyes to look at the two sleeping babies, Anakin’s children. 

“I came to stop him. I..I knew you would go to him after I told you what happened,” he starts, choosing his words carefully.

“Then you snuck about my ship,” Padme fills in the blanks.

“Yes, and I waited while you talked to him, hoping he would, that you could convince him to stop. Then he started hurting you and I couldn't let him,” Obi-wan goes on, his voice eventually cracking. Tears run down Padme’s face from closed eyes. Still, she reaches out and takes Obi-wan’s hand. 

He looks down and their entwined hands. 

“Keep going,” Padme whispers, still as a statue, “I need to hear it.” 

“I tried to reason with him. We fought. Eventually I got the upper hand, I tried. He wouldn't stop. I killed him.” 

The voice of Anakin screaming, I hate you, still rings in his ears. 

“How did he die?” 

“He fell, into the lava,” Obi-wan admits, sparing her the harder details. 

“Can I have a minute alone?” is all Padme says, releasing his hand. 

“Of course, I'm so sorry Padme,” Obi-wan gets up and opens the door to the cabin. 

“How did this happen?” Padme asks when he’s half out of the door.

“I failed.” 

He closes the door behind him. Finally alone Padme allows herself to weep. 

_Ani, oh Ani ___

she cries to herself burying her face in her arms. 

Hours pass, Obi-wan doesn't come back. She cares for the twins. Eventually she falls asleep. 

He opens the door, waiting for her to fall asleep unable to face her again. He looks at her, sleeping on the bed with the twins cradling them with her arms. Her brow is furrowed, he reaches down and caresses her face trying to smooth her frown. 

He lays down on the other bunk, facing her and Luke and Leia. 

_I'm so sorry Anakin._


	4. Chapter 4

Screaming. Padme wakes up to the sound of Leia screaming, hungry. It's still night, the cabin is dark. She sits up and feeds Leia, soothing her cries. 

Nothing seems real in the dark. She isn't fleeing into the Outer Reaches under a false name with the man who murdered-- No, she couldn't even think that of Obi-wan. He wouldn't unless he had no choice. He was his oldest friend, hers too. 

Leia’s dark eyes close again, Padme just holds her rocking gently. Eventually she too falls asleep. 

She wakes at the feeling of the ship dropping out of hyperspace. Obi-wan is already awake by the door and holding Luke, bags wrapped around his shoulders. 

“What are you doing with Luke?” Padme asks, half panicked. 

“Nothing, I was packing and he started crying and I didn't want him to wake you till we had to leave. I'm sorry Padme,” he explains. 

“No, I'm sorry. I just saw and thought just for a moment,” she apologizes, ashamed at her thoughts. 

“Padme, I would never do that to you. I'm here to protect you and your children. I'm here and I'm not leaving,” he promises, leveling his serious gaze at her. 

“I never meant to,” she trails off.

“I know, these are hard days. For the both of us,” he steps closer, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She nods then gets off the bed. 

“They’ll get better, I have to believe that.”

“I believe it too, Padme. Come now, we should be planetside by now,” he gestures toward the door, eager change the conversation. It was too painful, he wondered if he had been honest with Padme. Did he really believe things would get better? Even though his, and her, whole world had burned to the ground?


	5. Chapter 5

“There's a inn a couple blocks from here,” he says as they exit the ship together the twins strapped to Padme. The port town is on the small side but busy. They blend in with other refugees fleeing the Core Worlds for quiet edge of the galaxy. Dantooine is a safe choice, Obi-wan reasons, nothing of interest out here just a lot of farmland. And we can always move farther out.

“Have you been here before?” Padmé asks.

“Once a long time ago. Too long for anyone to recognize me,” he explains reaching up absentmindedly brushing his beard. 

“Was it with…” Padme starts then fades out unable to say his name.

“No, it was before him,” Obi-wan says, looking away. 

Before him. After him. Padme wonders if that's how her life will always be broken up like this, in pieces around him. 

Suddenly both the twins start crying. Padme tiredly smiles down at them, grateful for their interruption of her thoughts if exhausted.

“Are we close? I think they need to eat,” she asks.

“Yes, it's the one at the end of the street there,” he answers, pointing out one of the wooden buildings on the left side of the intersection. They reach it quickly. The first floor is a dimly lit bar complete with scattered sabaac tables.

Padme waits by entrance, comforting the twins trying to settle their cries, as Obi-wan heads to the bar to see about a room. She watches him call over the owner, an older Twi’lek, and slide her some credits. 

“We only have the one room left,” she gruffly tells him taking his credits anyway. 

“That’ll be fine, thank you,” he says, catching the room key she tosses at him. No sense causing a scene, this is the only inn within walking distance.

They easily find the room on the second floor. The sounds of the bar seep through the floor, one oversized bed fills the room with one small nightstand on its left side as the only other furniture. 

“Cozy,” Padme says, setting the twins at the foot of the bed. She sets about cleaning Luke and getting clean clothes on him.

“It was the only room,” he explains, mirroring her movements on Leia. 

Padme glances over, sees the sleeves of his robe move around her baby as Ani’s would've. The thought pains her, matching the various pains in her body. 

_Can't think about that. Just keeping thinking about Leia and Luke. You can't fall apart._

She blinks back the stinging tears and together with Obi-wan finish getting the twins ready for bed. Padme lays the twins in the middle of the bed, snuggled together- the only way they slept.

“I'm gonna to lay down for a few minutes before dinner,” she says, sliding down next to the babies. 

“Okay, I’ll arrange for some food later,” he responds sitting down on the other side of the bed back against the wall. 

In a matter of moments Padme’s eyes shut, leaving Obi-wan the only one awake in the small room. He stares at the door. Leia stirs, giving a small cry. He quickly scoops her up and gently rocks her. 

“Thanks Ani,” Padme mumbles in her sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Two words. Two words and the threads he was using to hold himself together snap. Burying his face in his hands to quiet himself he slides to the floor praying to not wake anyone up. 

_Anakin. The Jedi are gone. Everything is gone. Except for Padme and his children._

Now that he had started he found he couldn't stop. Waves of sorrow crashed through him again and again. Reaching under the bed he finds his bag and in it, Anakin’s saber. He holds the hilt, heavy in his hands, on his lap. 

“What am I going to do?” he whispered to himself and to the Force. Neither had an answer. On the floor he sat all night, reaching in and out searching for a sense of balance. 

Early in the morning, before the rising of the sun, one of the twins started crying. He felt Padme stir and soothe the baby. An act repeated in about fifteen minutes. 

Padme noticed Obi-wan on the floor next to the bed but doesn't say anything. After the twins had resettled she lay next to them unable to go back to sleep. She stares at the back of Obi-wan’s head silently as the morning breaks.

“Where do we go from here?” she asks.

“I'm going to look for some work today. We have enough money for a while though,” he answers sliding his arm back under the bed hiding his secret. 

“And then we’ll get a bigger place for you and the children. Where I can make sure you're safe,” he continues.

“You too, you're a criminal in our new Empire,” she says back.

He finally turns to look at her. Her hair is messy and she still looks exhausted. He gives her a half-hearted smile that she matches. 

“Why Senator, it just so happens I make a very good criminal,” he teases and for a moment sounds like his old self, a fact that gets a genuine smile from Padme. 

Smiling she gets up from the bed and grabs a change of clothes from her bag.

“Will you watch the twins for second? I need a minute,” she asks.

“They’ll be fine with me,” he assures her. 

Padme heads out of the room, to the hall where she saw a common bathroom last night. 

“Thank goodness this place has a shower,” she mumbles to herself, grateful for the cleansing hot water. After her shower she races back to the room.

“It's crazy how much I can miss them, even when I'm only gone for a second and back before they miss me,” she tells Obi-wan as she puts away her dirty clothes. 

“Anakin would be so proud of them, they're perfect,” he says without thinking.

“Yes he would,” she answers. 

_Can he see them?_

She wonders.

 _They’ll never know him._

“Come on, let's get them dressed so we can go down and get some food.” 

“Yes, Senator,” he acquiesces. 

“Padme only, please,” she insists. "I'm not a Senator here."


	7. Chapter 7

“What should I call you?” Padme asks him as they gather up the twins. 

“Ben, it’ll blend in around here,” he replies helping her down the narrow stairwell.

The sabaac tables from yesterday are breakfast tables now, over half filled even at this hour. 

“Okay Ben, we can do this.” Padme says, feigning confidence and grabbing them a table.

“It’ll be easier once we can move out of town, get a little more space,” the newly named Ben promises after ordering food for them. 

“Ben?” Padme starts hesitantly, glancing around.

“Yes?”

“Do you think they'll have their father’s talents?” she asks in a low voice.

He takes a minute, stroking his beard thoughtfully. The action throws Padme back to their last conversation at her apartment.

“Maybe, it's not always passed down. We could do a blood test,” he says after a beat.

“No, that's okay. I'm just curious. How soon could they?” Padme asks, brow furrowed.

“It could be soon, or not for years.” 

Padme doesn't respond, unsure of her feelings about her babies having all the power of their father. They finish their meal in silence, except for the soft noises of the twins.

“So, work?” Padme starts again after the plates are emptied.

“Yes, after we get some supplies for the twins I'm going to ask around. Come on, let's go to the market,” he suggests leaving credits on the table. He helps tie the wrap that Padme wears to carry the twins hands free. 

They stroll through open air market set up in the streets a block over. It's filled with people and unfamiliar food. Obi-wan dodges in and out buying fruit,vegetables, and diapers. 

It became their weekly habit, Padme and the twins walking through the market with Obi-wan. The small rituals of living and of caring for the twins aid in the reformation of their lives. Obi-wan finds work on a small farm outside of town, eventually saving up enough to purchase a modest house on the outskirts of town. Enough space for the twins to roam but close enough for their weekly trips into town. 

Soon the locals come to know them as the young family fleeing from the war. The twins endear themselves easily, with their big eyes and sweet personalities.

“They’ve grown so much,” a Twi’lek trader from offworld named Hera comments on one such visit. The twins simply babble on to each other and try to wiggle out of their wraps, seeking to wander off.

“Every day it seems,” Padme says, struggling to readjust Luke. Obi-wan appears with a bag of fruit, slinging that onto his shoulder he scoops up Luke with a familiarity built over these past months. 

“How old are they now?” Hera asks as Padme uses her free arm to look through the trinkets Hera has brought this week. 

“Ten months,” Obi-wan answers. At the sound of his voice Leia reaches for him. And when Padme doesn't turn to deliver her to him, she cries out. 

“Dadda!” Leia shrieks. Padme and Obi-wan turn to each other, stunned. 

“Her first word,” Obi-wan whispers.


	8. Chapter 8

“Her first word? That's amazing, right?” Hera asks, confused at the odd, strained looks shared by the Kenobi’s.

Shock fading away, smiles overtake their faces. 

“Oh, Leia!” Padme exclaims, brimming with pride. Obi-wan and Hera join in, showering Leia with praise. Overjoyed at the attention she's getting, Leia says it again and again cheerfully, clapping her chubby hands. Obi-wan scoops her up which quiets her down.

“You’ve always been her favorite,” Padme says, trying to keep her voice light. 

“At least you still have Luke,” he replies. 

“That's true,” she laughs half-heartedly. Quickly they say their goodbyes and head home.

A twin in each arm they leave the market and begin their short walk down the dusty back roads. 

“Leia is always rushing ahead,” Obi-wan says breaking the silence they had fallen into. Padme offers a half smile, still wrapped up in her thoughts. He lets the quiet envelop them again. 

At their home, they set the babies on the floor of the living room to play. Moving in sync they put away their groceries. 

It's different than it was with Anakin, Padme thinks, they’d only have days or maybe weeks together at a time. Never enough. With Obi-wan there's a calmness, a certainty. She’d never had that before. They've learned to be a family, strange at that thought seems- bittersweet too. It should of been Anakin. That thought burns through, a cruel one from the first hard months. But Leia brought it back fleetingly. 

It should be Anakin, the feeling reaches Obi-wan from Padme through the force. He didn't mean to hear it and he certainly doesn't blame her for it. The same thought had crossed his mind many times. It's because of him Anakin isn't here, he should have saved him and yet here he is, living the life denied him. Padme reaches in front of him, dark curly hair brushing his arm. Stepping back she gives him a small smile. It's too much.

“I'm sorry, I know I'm not...I'd give anything for it to be him here,” he whispers. 

“Obi-wan,” Padme says moving toward him, “I miss him too but he's gone. And I wish they could have known him and love him the way I do.” She puts a hand on his chest, taking a deep breath to strengthen her voice, “But you've done so much for us, everything. You are the only father figure they've ever known, and they are lucky to know you.”

“What are you going to tell them when they get older?” 

“I don't know,” she answers honestly. “How long will you stay with us?” The question had been hanging over her for a while, afraid of the answer.

“What?”

“No one knows we’re alive, any of us. Nobody's looking. We’re safe,” she says, hiding her uncertainty.

“Do you want me to go?”


	9. Chapter 9

Her eyebrows dropped deep into the straight worried line they had often worn in the war. 

“No.” 

One word. 

“Then stop waiting for me to leave. I can think of no better way to spend my days than watching over you..over all of you.”

Honor and duty. Of course that’s all he means.

Obi-wan watched her then burst forward, wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder.

After the shock of it wore off, she felt herself lean into him. His coarse beard lightly scratching her cheek. 

“For now, this is enough I think,” she whispered. “They should know the truth eventually though.” 

“Yes, when the time is right.” 

With a deep breath Obi-wan pulled himself away and finished putting their things away. 

“I’ve got to run an errand in town. I'll be right back,” he blurted suddenly and a little too loud. 

“Oh, okay. Be careful,” she called out as he rushed for the door. 

“What were you thinking?” Padme muttered to herself as she plopped down on the floor with the twins. 

Luke looked more like Anakin every day, with his dusty blonde hair and soft eyes. So much like that boy from the desert.

“Dadda!” Leia shrieked.

“I know, sweetheart. He'll be back in a minute,” she promised. 

“What were you thinking? You have a duty, remember?” Obi-wan berated himself. 

_And remember what you did. She'll never forgive you._

He found himself in the cantina. The holonet is on, the usual Imperial propaganda blaring away. 

“Lord Vader led our troops to victory, crushing the insurgents,” 

Obi-wan's head whipped up from his drink to catch a glimpse of a tall figure, his face covered by a black mask, wielding a red saber. 

“No,” he said, “It's impossible.”

“What is?” the patron on the neighboring barstool asked but Obi-wan was already gone. 

He sprinted towards home. Breathing heavily he found sobs wracking his body.

_Wait. Stop. Think._

I have to tell her. Tell her Anakin is alive... He stopped running when he made it to the front door and rubbed his face in his hands. What do I do? Anakin... Vader...he'd come for them if he knew they lived. Would she go to him? I have to tell her. 

“Ben, is that you?” 

Swallowing his tears, he said yes, he'd be in in a minute. I just need a minute. I have to tell her. 

I can't, I can't risk her or the children. I have to keep them safe. They're everyone's only hope. I have to tell her. 

_Remember what you did._

“What's wrong, Ben?” Padme asked opening the door. She saw the fear in his eyes, like in the war.

He walked straight into the nursery looking for the babies. Padme followed, waiting for an answer.

“Nothing, just old memories. I'll tell you someday,” he tried to brush her questions off and picked up Luke from his cradle. I'll tell her, when the time is right. 

“Ben, I hope today I didn't….that is...I didn't mean to,” Padme stumbled on her words, unsure of what she was even trying to say.

“No, don't apologise. Please,” he said as he collapsed into his chair. 

Padme was at a loss. What was going on? She was going to find out what had scared him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long absence, but I hope to be back writing regularly now! Also I switched to a past tense, it flows better and I don't know what I was thinking before.


End file.
